Have you parents ever gone on vacay and been like…
Why am I paying for a nanny if I’m not going to be here?! Maybe I can have her work for my friend while I’m gone, that way we all benefit – I don’t have to pay and my friend gets a nanny.
OR
Maybe you’re no longer working and realize that you want to keep your full-time nanny, but don’t necessarily need her full-time, so you might as well lend her out to your friends who need a nanny when you want some special time with your baby and they can pay the difference for the time that they use her services.
OR
You’re going to be hanging out with your friend today and she has a baby, x, around the same age. It would be so nice if your child and your friend’s baby get to have a playdate together while you guys are gone. You let your nanny know that your baby’s having a playdate with baby x and ask … “Is that okay?”
Unless your nanny agreed to any of the above when you first signed the contract, I have two words for you. BIG PROBLEM. When these changes are imposed on a nanny many nannies will say that it’s okay out of fear of losing their jobs, but behind the scenes they are livid and can be left feeling unappreciated and taken for granted. They should be protected by their contracts, but nannies find themselves having to negotiate terms that only benefit the families they work for.
Considering the first two scenarios, it should be noted that your nanny has made a contract to work with you and your family – not your friends. The pay rates that were agreed upon for your family because of other accommodations being made may not be acceptable to a nanny when working for another family who may have different expectations. Frankly, sometimes nannies don’t really care to work for your friends after noticing some habits they have that they may not agree with or personality types that don’t quite match. Some argue that the arrangement is temporary and shouldn’t matter, but each family and nanny is expected to follow what’s stipulated in the contract, not pick and choose what points are most convenient.
The third scenario is the most common. It may seem like a fun idea to get the kids together, but it is definitely an imposition if your nanny is not compensated for the care of both children. You may argue that you’re not asking your nanny to do anything that you wouldn’t do, but this is where work and personal boundaries come into play. This is a business relationship. So regardless of what parents do on their spare time with friends, a nanny needs to be compensated for additional children she’s left to care for. The same would go for friends visiting your home. Do not expect your nanny to take over the care for your friend’s child even though the parent is technically in the room.
With all of this in mind, a nanny would not want to be stingy and refuse to keep an eye on a visiting friend’s baby for five minutes if they’ve run to the bathroom. The point is to be respectful of the work relationship and not take it for granted.
What are your thoughts on Nanny Exchanges?