The Parent: You’re three weeks away from going back to work and you’re cringing at the fact that you have to leave your little bean at home with a complete stranger. Your friends have managed to either extend their work-leave or find a nanny, but you can’t extend and the thought of finding a caregiver still freaks you out. The stress of finding help in the sea of nannies is becoming overwhelming…
The Nanny: You’ve just been told by your boss that, while they’ve appreciated your years of service, your job will be coming to an end because the children are older and now attending school full-time. It’s completely understandable, but you are freaking out because you’ve got rent and bills to pay and nanny jobs don’t come easy…
Whether you are searching for childcare or nanny jobs, just the thought of looking can be very stressful. Here are some things you can do to make finding a nanny or a family to work with easier.
Step 1 – Make a List of Must Haves
Seeing what you need and want on paper helps to clarify what you are looking for in a nanny or family to work with. Be honest about who you are and what you expect from either a caregiver or parent. It also helps to decide what points you can be flexible on if you find someone to work with that you really like, but they need to negotiate some things. For Example:
A parent might add the following to their list:
A nanny must…
Be able to text message / good communicators
Be willing to work when child is sick
Be willing to do dishes (or load dishwasher) or do laundry for baby
Be willing to work on the books
Be punctual
Speak Italian
A caregiver might add this to his/her list: Parents must…
Be good communicators / direct
Pay no less than $___ per hour.
Provide _____ amount of paid vacation/personal/sick days per year
Be punctual relieving caregiver
Allow cellphone use with moderation
Parents … Figure out what your parenting philosophy is (i.e.. The Continuum Concept? Attachment Parenting?). What are your thoughts on discipline? How involved do you want your nanny to be in educating your child? Do you want your nanny to reinforce certain values in your child – i.e. cleaning up after themselves, saying please and thank you?
Nannies … What parenting philosophies are you familiar with and are willing to actively participate in when helping to rear someone’s child? What are your thoughts on discipline? How much would you like to be involved in educating someone’s child? What values do you typically reinforce in the children you work with that can benefit this family – i.e.. being polite, tidying up after themselves, being considerate of others?
Step 2 – Ask Around
Finding a nanny or a nanny job can sometimes be difficult so, now that you know what you want, being proactive is essential.
Ask around. While this may not be easy for everyone to do, asking others for help can sometimes yield more results than a computer search might. If you are in a bind and need a job or nanny asap, sorting through countless care.com profiles may be the last thing on your mind not to mention your schedule. Don’t get me wrong… websites like those are fantastic if you have the time! In my next post, I’ll delve into the world of online searching and discuss tips on setting up profiles for Parents and Nannies.
The easiest way to find out about “who’s good” is to ask for a referral. I usually recommend finding out what each parent’s philosophy is before asking for one. One parent’s way of rearing their child may not necessarily mesh with your methods. This will definitely be reflected in the people they choose to hire so it’s good to know ahead of time to avoid disappointments.
But what if you have no close friends to ask? Playgroups and music classes in established facilities (i.e.. your neighborhood library, bookstores, neighborhood play-spaces) are wonderful ways to meet other parents. Local parenting forums are also gems for families looking to find available nannies that have worked with neighboring families.
Step 3 – Go For It!
You’ve found someone that you can potentially work with and you’ve set up an interview. Now what? Keep the following tips in mind…
– Be Punctual – Have Your “Must Haves” In Mind – Provide An Up-to-Date Resume If You’re a Nanny – Be Ready To Share Information Concerning Your Child(ren) That Would Directly Impact The Nanny’s Job – Listen Carefully – Take Notes – Ask Pertinent Questions – Show Appreciation For Meeting
Parents:
– Be realistic about what you can afford regarding pay rates. – Be clear about hours being offered. – It is normal for nannies to ask about your experience with prior nannies, but it’s not necessary to discuss every detail of a negative experience during an interview. In that case, be brief and assure the nanny that your past experience will not affect this present situation. If you have specific concerns stemming from a negative experience, ask how the nanny would handle certain situations that weren’t dealt with properly before, and relay your concerns/fears early on. – Ask for a reference and call or meet with the parent giving the reference personally. There are some cases where you’ve found a wonderful person with little experience. Everyone needs a start, but hire at your discretion and don’t be afraid to run a background check. – Be forthcoming about health issues/concerns your child may have. – If something makes you slightly uncomfortable about the person you are looking to hire, ask yourself … “Is this something small enough to overlook? Am I going to be worried about my child’s safety? Does the person’s other good qualities overshadow this one issue? Is this person willing to take criticism so as to resolve this concern?” – Be willing to negotiate/be flexible on terms.
Nannies:
– Be realistic about what you can accept regarding pay rates. Do not accept a job that offers a smaller salary and then speak negatively about you employer – it reflects badly on you both. – Be clear about availability. – Feel free to ask if the family has had a nanny before.
– Be comforting to a parent who has had a negative experience in the past. Offer ways you would handle a particular situation more effectively. – If something makes you slightly uncomfortable about the person looking to hire you, ask yourself… “Is this something small enough to overlook? Will this cause me to loose respect for my prospective employer in the future? Does the person’s other good qualities overshadow this “flaw”? Is this person willing to accept criticism so as to resolve this concern or will mentioning this have a negative impact on our work relationship?” – Be willing to negotiate/be flexible on terms. There may be a time where you are up the creek looking for some help or someone to hire you, but just because you are doesn’t mean that you are willing to accept things that make you feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, on both ends of the work relationship, people are known to take advantage of other’s misfortunes by offering below average pay-rates and not being willing to do basic nanny tasks etc…
To combat this, go into your interview with a confident air and a notepad. It is not necessary to express how desperately you need help or need a job. Rather, let the person know that you’re looking for someone wonderful to work with, that you have something special to bring to the table, and ways that this relationship can work. Listen carefully to each other, take notes about everything being offered and ask questions. If you are presented with an offer that you feel is unfair, write it down and come back with an offer that is beneficial to both parties. If you feel that you are being bullied or pushed into agreeing to terms you don’t feel comfortable with, whether you are a nanny or parent, this is not someone to consider working with. Thank the person for their time and politely decline. Something better is on the horizon!